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observant is not a quality I've ever been accused of having in great… - Lograh — LiveJournal

Sunday, 10.Nov.2002

19:29

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observant is not a quality I've ever been accused of having in great supply.

thus it can sometimes take me a few days to realize when people have dropped me from their friends lists..

How should I interpret it when this happens without any mention whatsoever of it happening? Should I just brush it off without any concern of how they feel about me? I used to be enough of an ass that I could have done that, but I can't any longer.. It does impact me to know that they no longer find me interesting/thoughtfull/humorous/whatever enough to waste those precious few lines of screen space on. How it impacts me, and why, are still great unanswered questions.

Perhaps I am attaching far too much importance to the fact that someone lists me on their "friends" list. That could easilly come from my listing habits, as I don't just add people willy-nilly, I will spend a week or two (sometimes a month or two) reading their journal seperate and trying to decide if I like their entries enough to add them, and then at some point I'll put them on my friends list. I know that others don't do this, quite simply because I've watched it happen.. Return-linking, for example, happening far too quickly from what I've seen. I've found myself on various people's lists after no longer than a few days, and it stuns me that they would decide so quickly.. But this is beside the point.

Now, when I find I'm not linked any longer, I am forced to consider what I may have done.. what I may have said, to bring this action about. I know that almost all the people I'm on the friends lists of have multiple groups, and they don't necissarrilly read all their "friends" all the time. So I figure I would be in some group of theirs and they would read my journal only every so-often.. But then, to find my posts so uninteresting and dull that they would go through the actions (okay, so it's only about 4 or 5 clicks, still it is *SOME* effort) to remove me from the list..

Oh well, it's not the first time I've had my self-views proved right.. Perhaps if I posted more interesting stuff here.. perhaps if I actually posted something personal once in a while? perhaps if I didn't keep everything so close, never telling anyone anything, then people would actually look forward to reading my journal..

But would I want that? people also look forward to watching their particular TV shows every week.. Do I really want to have my life reduced to the level of a TV show? no.

So, I continue to post meaningless drivel in my journal.. I continue to keep all my personal life off of LJ, and I continue to wonder just why I even bother with this anymore, all the while posting whenever I get bored.. As my website gathers cobwebs.. I keep thinking that if I got a computer running at my home, I could do my website work from there (it's only text anyway, it'll work fine over the modem), and then I could actually start having some interesting content happening over there.. as it is, though, I don't.. I'm either too lazy, or never home enough, or there's allways some other reason why I don't do it. Sorta like my German studies..

there's allways some reason to not.

Gah, lately that reason's been mostly nothing more than depression.. it doesn't help any that I missed the paperwork deadline to take classes AGAIN! feh, it matters not, I'm working on getting my work schedule shifted so that I'll not have to take any time off from work to attend the later classes. We'll see if they'll let me do it..

here's hoping.

I should probably cut this. there you go. I wouldn't want to have someone else deciding that I'm not worth this much of their precious screen space and removing me from their list as well.

Comments:

From:spindry
Date:20:17 10.Nov.2002 (UTC)
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That, I think is one of the problems I have with livejournal. It's very nearly a popularity contest. And it's actually upsetting when someone knocks you off their list, or, on a more nit-picky level, when someone doesn't add you back.

But, I mean, keep in mind, this is your journal, and what you put here should absolutely not be dictated by anybody. And there are those of us that stick around who will find you interesting regardless. :)
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From:lograh
Date:6:58 11.Nov.2002 (UTC)
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thanks for the words of encouragement. I kinda get the impression LJ can be nothing more than a popularity contest as well, and I'm trying to avoid that aspect of it. I had enough of popularity contests throughout my earlier educational experiances, I don't need more now.
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From:samsamsamantha
Date:0:24 11.Nov.2002 (UTC)
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I think there are diverse reasons for adding and editing people from friend’s lists. It all depends on the individual. I, for one, won't add a person to my friends list unless I have met them in person, at the ever least. Normally, the individuals I add are either close friends of mine, or have been in my life for quite a while. On rare occasions, they are people I met through my sister and decided 'why not?'

So, you may be wondering where you fit into that mix... Obviously I've met you, but it's not like I really know you. Honestly though, you are very curious to me. I have being hearing the name 'Erif' for years, but once it came into question who you were, I couldn't remember where I had met or heard of you. I finally figured out, that at the very least, you were on Kevin's old board when I was 16. Though, I think there is still a possibility that I have heard of you from other people as well... Anyway, I don't read other people's LJ page more than once or twice. If I'm going to read a person's posts at all, they are going to be on my friends list. (In other words, I bring them all to by page; I never go to their's.)

On a different note: It's true that I don't always read everyone's posts on my friends list. For example, while I was in Job Corps I had very limited time to read live journal, and was working with very slow computers... So, I cut one or two people from my friends list, just to make it so I could get through my friends list without the insane load time and at least read Ryan's post. Why did I choose to cut the people I did? Well, I choose those that I thought would be the least effected by being cut, and had the longest posts. I didn't tell them they were being cut, 'cause I knew that they wouldn't care.
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From:lograh
Date:7:08 11.Nov.2002 (UTC)
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"kevin"? what was the nym he used, as I usually remember those better.

Yeah, you as well are one of those people whom I've heard the name of for years but I've never really met. I mean, sure, I've seen you once or twice, but we've never really sat down and talked..

We take the exact opposite approach to adding people to our friends lists.. I take forever and read them all, almost never cutting people. Where you add quickly but will also cut and/or don't read them all. Right now, for example, I've got about 8 people's journals bookmarked that I read every few days but I don't have them on my friends list.. Just a differant way of approaching it.
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From:samsamsamantha
Date:13:54 11.Nov.2002 (UTC)
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Kumba, and Petrouchka were 2 of Kevin's favorite handles, though he did go though several others. At the time at which you would have known him, he loved to argue and debate on the BBS's, especially about classically music. He was a cynical music major, who was uptight and had far too much trivia knowledge. He also used to play lazer tag every Wed night. (While he is much more laid back now a days, he still has a great love for Drum Corps.)

As for me, I used handle from Giggles, Gigabyte, and Sprite (when I was very young) to Puddy Tat, Tyme, TheQueenOfCups, and DeepWaves (as I enter my later teens and adulthood.)

Yep, it's just a different way of approaching it. Honestly, I guess I wanted to give you the other side, because if that person that cut you didn't really know you or have a personal relationship with you, it might not have been anything personal. I don't know... A note about me: I can be one of those "it might not be as bad as you think" kind of people. Oh, yes, the ray of sunshine. *smirk* Anyways, enough of that.
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From:namelessnobody
Date:16:17 13.Nov.2002 (UTC)
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Hey there,

Just noticed you've added me to your Friends list, and thought I'd add you back. But not to worry, I've been following your journal for months now through Anne's own Friend list, so I know what I'm getting myself into... :)
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