Well, I've got some stuff I need to work on (big suprise there).
In looking at myself, I no longer recognise what I see. I used to be able to look at myself with, if not pride, at least a sense of accomplishment. A sense that I was heading in the "right" direction. I no longer feel that. I seem to have lost my way somehow.
Somewhere . . . "back there", I took a wrong turn down this path and I'm not entirely certain of where/who I am now. As I've grown fond of saying, *this=!good;
So, the only way I can think of to figure out what is going on is to take some time. To think about myself, and where I am, and try to perhaps scrape together some sembelance of "self" from the bits and pieces that can still be found. I need to take a good long look at where this road has taken me, and what I've gained from the journey.
Some things about the current me I like and will try to keep. I have an interest in photography now that I would like to continue to explore and improve upon. I have a job I enjoy where I don't wake up every morning dreading going to work. Most of my current traits, however, disgust me. I have become a tad too much of an ass (you need some "ass" in you to survive in this society, but I've embraced it too far). My finances are a total mess (yeah yeah, money doesn't matter and all that jazz, but again it's a part of this society and you need to realize that to a certain degree).
etCETERA, etCETERA, etCETERA! (accompained by grand arm-sweeping)
I could go on, but I won't. Comments are disallowed because I won't be back to livejournal till I feel I'm ready for social obligations once again (and because, honestly, I don't want to hear them). If you want to see where I'm at, check my web site.
If you feel you absolutely must get ahold of me, email still works. I can't promise I'll reply, but that's just part of life (hell, depending on the address you send to, I can't even promise it'll get through to me I'm canceling 2 of 5 addresses I have).
RE: weekly rides. I don't know. I might, but we'll see.
RE: farscape fridays. a definate no. I'll likely not even watch on my own.
RE: Santa Cruz. I don't know. I want to, but I'm not sure if I should.
RE: people being upset at my actions or behavior last weekend... bloody well piss off, I've been through a lot more than you think for a lot longer than you can imagine. So I broke last weekend, that sort of thing happens after fighting for so long.
RE: anyone upset by this post in any way. See above.