For example, with chess, I used to remark that I really enjoyed just pushing the pieces around. Win or loose never mattered overly much to me, and I tried to play that way. But I was still seeking to prize out the best move to make in the given situation and I would agonize over it, carefully plotting out the puzzle to whatever depths I could. Now, though, it's gone to something else entirely. Last time I played a game, I *really* didn't care if I won or lost (might be why I lost both games that sitting (this is not meant to belittle my opponent -- he is certainly a skilled enough player)). The experience was so much *not* about the game that I plain forgot at multiple times if it was my move or not. The game was interesting, but the conversation and company was far more so. Where in my prior experience playing chess I would be keenly aware of tempo, balance, potential threats, key pieces, and other strategic elements on the board beyond the simple basics of position, turn, and check; this time I was purposefully not following any of that. Sure, I knew it, and when my opponent brought up the tempo I was instantly aware of where it was, but I then let go of it and that dropped from my awareness as the conversation went on. Though perhaps I was being somewhat too unobservant of the game as twice he had to remind me it was my turn and I once was embarrassingly unaware that his queen had me in check (there were perhaps 7 pieces on the board at that point -- not a complex position), which he also kindly pointed out to me.
a few games more // life
For example, with chess, I used to remark that I really enjoyed just pushing the pieces around. Win or loose never mattered overly much to me, and I tried to play that way. But I was still seeking to prize out the best move to make in the given situation and I would agonize over it, carefully plotting out the puzzle to whatever depths I could. Now, though, it's gone to something else entirely. Last time I played a game, I *really* didn't care if I won or lost (might be why I lost both games that sitting (this is not meant to belittle my opponent -- he is certainly a skilled enough player)). The experience was so much *not* about the game that I plain forgot at multiple times if it was my move or not. The game was interesting, but the conversation and company was far more so. Where in my prior experience playing chess I would be keenly aware of tempo, balance, potential threats, key pieces, and other strategic elements on the board beyond the simple basics of position, turn, and check; this time I was purposefully not following any of that. Sure, I knew it, and when my opponent brought up the tempo I was instantly aware of where it was, but I then let go of it and that dropped from my awareness as the conversation went on. Though perhaps I was being somewhat too unobservant of the game as twice he had to remind me it was my turn and I once was embarrassingly unaware that his queen had me in check (there were perhaps 7 pieces on the board at that point -- not a complex position), which he also kindly pointed out to me.
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