I've come to the realization that I'm not drinking alcohol anymore. It's not like I've been trying to abstain, quite the opposite. I have agreed to go to pubs and have some drinks with people, even though I was turned off by the idea, because I wanted to be social. And I've recently tried making a drink I used to rather enjoy only to find myself averse to drinking it and actually tossed it after a few sips. It has been over a year and a half since I had a mixed drink, and in the last 6 months or so I've only had beer on roughly three or four occasions. I suppose I've just grown out of it? Whatever the reason, I've done some thinking on it and I have decided to accept this for what it is and am now getting rid of my alcohol.
It is interesting, though. Living for so long without touching the bottles, I never thought about them in any significant way. Now that I am actively trying to find people to take them I find myself curiously bothered by my sobriety. Not that I want to have another drink, not in the least. But it's just something about ridding myself of the bottles. While they were there, I at least had the *option* of drinking -- even if I had no intention to do so. With the bottles gone, the option is as well removed from my life. Sure, I could make a run to the liquor store if I get the urge to have a drink but that's a total pain and I know there is almost no way I'd go to that length for alcohol. But why does this option, alcohol or no, bother me in the slightest? Perhaps it is that I've been consuming alcohol for about half my life? I can't say, but it is certainly interesting to observe in myself.
I'm not sure if I'm going totally non-alcohol from here out but I'll certainly be steering that direction. I may have a beer socially here and there if the situation calls for it, and I may yet pick back up with sampling of wines every now and then in my attempt to gain some appreciation for that art. Or perhaps not (if not, I'll have some inexpensive wine bottles (unopened) to give away as well). Sure, the fifth precept and all, but as I understand it the precepts are 'more like guidelines' anyway so an occasional drink might not be so bad. :)