Lograh (lograh) wrote,

single again // life

well, that was quick. serenica69 has decided that I'm not the right guy for her after all, and called it off. In fairness, it was a rather big question if the relationship would work out or not to begin with. Her being a big fan of monogamy and me not so much. We tried it my way, and it would seem the thought of possibly sharing me with someone else (mind you, I never did go out with anyone else, but the possibility was there) disturbed her enough to stop the whole thing.

In a way, I kinda wish I had done something wrong. I wish she had said "I'm leaving you because of that one saturday", or whatever, just so I could have some bad action of mine to pin it on and vow to never treat someone like that again. But to have her only reasons (that she told me about, at least) be that she doesn't want to date me just because of who I am and how I see the world, I don't know quite how to take that.

Nicely enough, though, I did learn a little more about myself in relationships from this one. I had previously suspected that I wasn't cut out for monogamy and this time around I got to see what it's like to have your partner seeing someone else. I gotta admit, it was a whole heck of a lot nicer than I thought it would be. Before getting into the situation, I thought that maybe I'd be slightly resentful, or perhaps feel a twinge of jealousy when she said "sorry, I can't see you tonight, I'm seeing so-and-so instead". Instead I found myself happy for her. I had no problems at all putting off time with her if it turned out the other guy had asked her for that night first. It was a rather odd feeling, at first, having been in only monogamous relationships in the past, but that quickly faded as the whole thing just came almost naturally to me. I still don't know if I fit with any of the popular labels of our times, but I'm definitely sure that I'm much more comfortable and secure with my partner in a non-monogamous relationship. Granted, this is just going to make it that much harder to find someone else in the future, but such is life, eh?

So yeah, for those of you who were following along with the home game, I'm back to single.
Tags: about me, dating?, life

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