an ongoing rant of mine // ranting - Lograh — LiveJournal
10:39 - an ongoing rant of mine // ranting
I almost posted this comment to someone else's post. it's the latest incarnation of the "post an anonymous question/comment here" type thing. instead of just being pissy in that person's post, I feel it's more fair to be pissy to all of them. But that just gets tedious so I figured I'd post it here instead. That way, only the people familiar with my pissiness (you are electing to read this, after all -- I'm not forcing anyone to view this drivel) are the ones who get to ignore it. :)
Does it bother you as much as it does me to know that those people we hold dear, who we call friends, with whom we feel we can be open and honest regarding our thoughts and curiosities, exhibit such behaviour as to leave us no other conclusion than to believe they do not consider ourselves in similar light; that they would not ask such questions if their names were to be attached to them, or they would not voice such comments unless under the cloak of anonymity?
Really, if I want to know something about any of you that much, I'll ask. If I honestly want you to know something, I'll tell you (it's why I know how good my shoe tastes; frequently the voicing of my opinion is not preceded with sufficient vocabulary considerations). Otherwise, I'm fine not knowing or not mentioning something. I should hope that you all feel you can tell me whatever you want, or ask whatever you want (I may not answer, but that's nothing unusual). I realize that I may get moody sometimes and I may over-react a bit, but I'm getting better at moderating the short-term reactions. At least, I think I am. And even if I do get a little huffy you can usually safely ignore it and just leave me alone for a bit, I'll reconsider shortly and the whole thing will blow over.
If this isn't how you think of me, if you feel you have to be guarded about everything you say to me and you can't ever express your opinion or ask questions, then I've failed you tremendously and I'm truly sorry for this. I realize I have been less approchable in the past, and I likely still present myself as such to some degree, but I ask that you please put those impressions aside and give me a chance to demonstrate through my actions that I'm not like that. If you feel I am over-reacting, then say so right then and let me see that my actions are being viewed that way so I can stop them.
Bah.. but then, as I mentioned above, this is just me ranting and being pissy.. feel free to ignore it.