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nobody wuvs me anymore . . . well, almost. :) - Lograh — LiveJournal

Tuesday, 14.Oct.2003

13:01 - nobody wuvs me anymore . . . well, almost. :)

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hehe..

2 people claim to have a crush on me. One secret and one public. Out of about 39 people that list me as a friend that's just shy of 5%. What I really like, though is that an equal number of people admit to once being drunk enough to actually think I was kinda cool, but they've sobered up now. :) hehe..

While I do kinda like having aggregate numbers being revealed, I'm not going to go through the effort to find out who that secret crush person is. If s/he wants to tell me, s/he can do so him/her-self. I kinda like it being a secret, though. I like knowing *someone* has a secret crush on me, and I almost don't want to find out. Like when you get a present. It's all wrapped up and what's inside is full of possibilities, the moment of joy knowing someone liked you enough to get you something, untarnished with any knowledge of what it might be or who it's from. It's the pure joy of just knowing you're cared about. Once you look at the card, or open it up, now you know who it's from and what it is, and that joy gets loaded down will all sorts of factual specifics and personal history and other weights that it didn't need. The joy is still there, yes, but it's more difficult to find in the quagmire of thoughts that are now attached to it.

Then again, it could be that this is just another time where I'm alone in my thinking and y'all think I'm weird. That's fine with me too.

Comments:

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From:ktbee
Date:13:38 14.Oct.2003 (UTC)
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Scarily, I agree with you on the present thing. I always wait to open presents until the very last. I like the fact that someone gave me a present and the wealth of possibilities. It is like the Schroedinger's cat thing. Within a closed box, that cat could be anywhere, alive or dead, but you won't know definitely until you open the box. I like the not knowing definitely.
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[User Picture]
From:lograh
Date:12:35 15.Oct.2003 (UTC)
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well, yeah.. I know that.. Your girlie is probably pretty happy about that fact also. :)
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From:mamarhi
Date:19:47 15.Oct.2003 (UTC)
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Well... I have a secret crush on both of you... ;>
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From:macklinr
Date:10:47 15.Oct.2003 (UTC)
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I can see yor point of view, however I have an insatible curiousity when it comes to things like that, so that for me is king when it comes to presents.

Though I think that if I remember it in December, I'm going to take a moment and try things out like that, see what happens.
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